Im assuming this is what they call "bloating"?

I have had NON stop bloating? I dont even know what bloating is really, because I never had periods, nor did I have pms cramps, bloating, or anything of that sort so I just dont know! It has been pretty non stop though since about yesterday. I have been pulling my pants down lower so I can let it all hang out lol. Its like a pressure around my hips, into my back like my kidneys hurt, and thru my lower stomach. So I am assuming this is what they call "bloating". I just want to lay in bed, maybe push my stomach out? I dont know.... I dont think its gas, because im sore thru my back. Its not a kidney infection because its not sore to the touch. Its been on my brain all day wondering if I had these cramps/bloating last time....and after reading a few old posts ive realized I had some bad bad cramps on day 3 or 4 after my IUI but I never mentioned extreme bloating. Its uncomfortable to say the least.... maybe this is a good sign? I am def. moody but a justified moodiness I FULLY believe. For example... I have guests in town.... and I walk around my own house on egg shells, which aggravates me because this is MY home, why should I act like a guest in my own home. Why do I have to pick and clean up cigarettes when I dont smoke? Why do I have to do dishes that I dont cook with? Why do I have to hide my things, look over my shoulder at every move I make (again in my house) and mostly.... why do I have to listen to the fighting? My child cries all night because the fighting goes on for hours and hours of screaming and throwing things.... I think Grayson fully heard or felt the tension and he was pretty upset last night. So I do sorta feel like im moody when I walk around her muteling things under my breath when I clean. *phew ok rant over*


Stats: 2 dpiui, 3 dpo lots and lots of uncomfortable bloating/maybe constipation? No change in CM yet... I did feel for a sec and it seems pretty closed, and last time it was open. Not much on the texture just same ol same ol, nothing stuck out to me. Moody. Irritable. Sensative maybe, which makes me irritable. I am no longer having any cravings... maybe that was like a once a day kinda thing. My hips/back/kidneys/something hurts... Nipples are noticable but not sensitive to the point I cant stand. No headache this time around, thank God! I did have some allergies today but I think thats expected with the itty bitty tiny of speckled rain we got. As far as the obsessing goes; im doing way better this month. So far so good, no pregnancy tests, no google searches yet. Just bloating.

My chest feels better today, I am getting really good at popping it, which helps with the pressure and tightness for the most part. I called my dr to see if I could get a chest xray and they were immidetly concerned with if I have chest pain from fuid build up around my ovary’s... I dont think its that but they said I should probably get checked out soon. They said they could protect my uterus from radiation but I dont want anything to be in the back of my head of "is that what caused it to fail"? So I am going to wait and see what happens with this first. Overall this is WAYYYYYY more important to me then getting a chest xray. Ben seems to be thrilled, but we are both backing down and letting this one take its course.  We still making back up plans for if I,\ but moving on about life as though Im not. We have fully decided though, we are not going to do another IUI next month. We are going to take the next few months off and see what happens without meds and periods and hopefully I can still go to the dr on day 1 of a new cycle for an ultrasound to check for fibroids and cysts and still keep up with all my health issues. But, as far as doing another cycle right away, I think we are going to wait till Ben comes home. We are hoping our insurance will allow the meds to be paid for if doing timed sex cycles, and thats good with us because I am the one with issues not him. His little army is a strong one, from what the analysis says. ETHIER WAY... we ARE going to keep trying to make a bigger family... itswhat we want. I look around and see alot of women pregnant right now, even "family" but I honestly feel I am a better fit of a mom and that this is something I want deep down inside of me, something I have wanted since Grayson turned one. Id like 4 kids honestly... I feel like my purpose is to be a Mommy... but maybe all moms feel that way? Grayson is my everything... the reason I breathe... the reason I get up in the morning. Everything I do revolves around Grayson or kid related activities and I like it, I dont mind it at all. I look at other young mothers, or friends of mine, even family of mine continue with thier lives although they dont have children... you dont see very many pictures, you see lots of things about clubs and bars... nothing like "going to watch dora in 4d with the kids"... so it makes me feel like I really am meant for this. Im exhausted im not gonna lie, but I go to bed every night thanking God I have Grayson, that I have a family, that I did something with my life and if anything were to ever happen id be devastated...they give me purpose. So moral of the story.. I want to have more children.


This was more like a diary entry then an update… but that’s why I have a blog… to let it all out, no matter what, these are feelings I have at this moment… with a little bit of what they call “bloating”. Lol