Here we are again.

Today is 10dpiui and I started a period already. First off I want to state some facts: I started a period becasue I took $1000 worth of ovulatory drugs to INDUCE ovulation to INDUCE a period. Had I not paid all this money this month to induce ovulation I can almost fully guarentee I would not be on a period. . I was NOT having periods before I started injections, half the reason I have been in and out of the dr since I turned 13 years old! Nobody understands the emotional toll this has taken on me since January, sadly not even Ben and hes been here the most. This has been a huge part of my life the last few months, yet im NOT entitled to have emotions, not with family in town. They come first. Im supposed to set aside my dissapointment and my hurt and fake a smile for others. When I want to talk about the process nobody wants to listen. Im supposed to hide this entire journey from everyone around me because of judgement. Im sick of that. Im sick of working damn hard for everything to constantly be JUDEGED!!!! Im sorry I work, I take care of my child (unlike 90% of other girls around me) I pay my bills, I have a roof over my head, I buy my own groceries, I buy things to take care of my family, I even freakin help everyone around me and yet IM the one whos judged. Why are women not allowed to have more then 1 child PLANNED?! So what I want MORE CHILDREN? Why cant anyone be supportive or mindful of me or my feelings??? This blog was made so I can vent about this process of IVF and the emotional journey it is. This is my SECOND failed IUI and YES IT ABSOLUTELY HURTS!!!!!!! So instead of having someone to talk to about this I have to secretly hurt or talk about everyone elses issues like faked suicide calls.